finding a RIE-Inclined nanny

Finding a nanny that is RIE-trained or has a lot of knowledge about connection-based approaches like The Whole Brain Child, Positive Discipline, Waldorf, etc can feel like finding a needle in a haystack. And even if you find them, sometimes they cost way above your childcare budget. But as someone who has hired and training over 50 teachers in my years as a program director, I know that knowledge is power and these approaches can be learned. I think the most important qualities to look for are: 1) kindness, 2) calm/being able to be present, 3) an interest in learning and reflecting, and 4) reliability.

With a kind heart and open mind, nannies and parents can join together in their journey to raise the children in their lives with intention and love. Both parties, being open to learn, grow and problem solve together will help everyone feel accepted, respected and valued. 

Many parents ask me for interview questions to help them find nannies that share their values. But parents aren't usually early childhood experts, so it's hard to tell what to ask and what answered are good. 

STEP 1: Screening Interview: I like to do this on a video call or over coffee without children. 
Intro: Parent tells nanny about their family, why they are hiring, how long they hope to employ a nanny, a bit about their parenting dreams/philosophy, what role/schedule they are hoping for.

1. What appeals to you about taking care of children? What appeals to you about working with our family/nannyshare specifically?
2. What are your you looking for in your next job? Schedule? Duration? Pay? Style of employer? How does our family/nannyshare fit with that? (ASK THIS IN A SCREENING INTERVIEW EARLY, but later in a longer format interview)
3. Describe your childcare experience? Sleep? Describe they way you are with infants and toddlers? Do you enjoy with routine days/routine care? Tell me why you enjoy it. (NOTE: since you can read their resume, don’t let them go on and on here. You just want to hear it from them)What is your philosophy for working with infants / toddlers/preschoolers?
4. What do you know about RIE or positive, connection-based parenting strategies? Are you open to learning more? Taking classes if we pay for them? Reading books we want to read with you?SITUATION QUESTIONS - If you feel you’re running out of time. Do not skip these. Skip question 4 instead. BE SURE TO MAKE THEM SAY THE WHOLE DIALOGUE TELLING YOU THEIR ACTIONS AND WORDS like in a play.
5. My baby is learning to roll over and creep/crawl. There is a toy in front of them that they want, but can’t quite get to it. They’ve rolled onto their belly and start to fuss. What do you do, say  (how with words and body) to the baby?
6. What do you do (actions and body language) and say to a child when it’s time to put on shoes  to go outside but they don’t want to? Tell me about your limit setting and discipline approach.
7. What do you do (actions & body language) and say when 2 two year olds want the same toy?
8. Check basics: eligible to work in US, infant/peds first aid & CPR, TB negative, immunizations up to date, background check clear
9. How have your previous set up a cooperative working relationship with families? What did you find helpful that the parents did? What did you find difficult? Can you give me an example of a time you had a conflict/concern with a family and how it was resolved?
10. Any questions for us?

If you're unsure or don't think you want to move forward with this nanny:
Thank them for their time. I typically say, “I am meeting with lots of people on the phone. I’m trying to limit the amount of people who I invite to do a working interview. I’ll get back to you by the end of the week if we can move to the working interview.”

STEP 2: WORKING INTERVIEW + IN PERSON INTERVIEW
If you like them, move fast. Set up an in-person interview working. The working interview is in three parts:

1. Tell them what to expect. What, Where, When. Tell them to please wear comfortable plain clothes that you don’t mind playing on the floor and getting messy. Don’t wear jewelry for safety and no perfume.
2. Observation time: Get to know our family and our home. At first we’ll show you around and you can observe us with our baby like a fly on the wall for a about 30 minutes.
3. Working interview - Start by being close to us and slowly we can all introduce you to our baby. We can tell our baby that soon we (parents) will be leaving for a short errand, and the nanny will be taking care of you. Parents can decide if they want to watch from a baby monitor, and if they do then I would let the nanny know. My suggestion is to watch from a baby monitor or be out of sight from your baby, but within listening distance so you can hear how they interact with your baby. (NOTE: personally I think it’s better after a hire not to use a baby monitor, and instead hire someone you trust. So you can let them know the monitor is for the interview not for the whole time they work with you (but that’s your choice too))
4. Post working interview debrief/interview 

• After meeting our baby and us, what do you think you would do on your first day here? How would you design your day with our baby? How would their schedule likely be different in 6 months? 1 year?
• Point out something you observed. (one thing you loved, or didn’t like, or wondered about): We think there are many ways to interact with babies, we just want to learn more  about your approach and thoughts. We hope to learn from our nanny as our nanny learns about our family. I noticed you did XXX with our baby, can you tell me more about that. (you are checking here for learning more about how they think and if they can take feedback constructively)
• After seeing our home, what suggestions do you have to make it a safe, yet challenging space? What toys do you like and dislike?
• When do you call out for work? Do you have a dependable way to get to work? Tell us about your experience driving. 
• We understand that it is common for nannies to help with light housework, especially if it relates to the children. Can you tell me how you have contributed to housework in the past (cooking, light cleaning, laundry) and when you fit it into your work week? 
• Any questions for me?​ Do you have any concerns about your ability to be our nanny?

I think from the above you can get a sense if this is a nanny with the right temperament and approach. You'll discover if they may like to learn more through training which shows commitment to both themselves as an early childhood professional and your child and family. (disclaimer: Mighty Bambinis does nanny trainings, so I'm of course biased... but I think life-long learning and accepting we don't know everything and we can learn more and improve at any stage in our career/life (growth mindset) are qualities we should all model for the children in our lives). 

The rest are questions you can ask if you have time.

1. Have you ever had to deal with an emergency?  If so, what happened and how did you handle it?
2. What do you find to be the most challenging aspect of working with children?
3. What do you like to do in your free time?
4. How do you think your closest friends would describe you and your personality?
5. Tell me about potty training experience and approach. 
6. Do crying / loud noises bother you?
7. How do you feel about changing diapers?
8. Can you get down on the floor and play with children?
9. Do you smoke?

If you find a kind, present/attentive, like-minded, reliable nanny, but she or you feels like she could benefit from a learning community to explore, learn and integrate brain-building, connection-based caregiving - definitely check out our Mighty Bambinis, Mindful Nanny training. We will be launching soon, so get added to the list today. 

Our training is designed to be practical, transformative and doable. It is designed to fit into your nanny and your busy schedule and efficiently help you understand and implement best practices into your caregiving right away. Because there are trainings for parents and nannies - trust and a common compass are forged!